Where to start
Where to start ? Who to contact ? Who does what ? What are the agencies ? In what order to do things ? Are all clinics the same ? What to think about
Like you, we asked ourselves 1000 questions when we started our great Canadian adventure. Here are the steps to follow:
> The starting point of the adventure is to contact the agencies that will help you find a surrogate mother, and to choose one.
We skyped with several agencies to make sure we made an informed choice and we chose to work with Proud Fertility. It's a very small structure, and that's what we liked. The director, Nathan Chan, was very professional with us, very responsive and very available, in addition to having a quite fun personality. We immediately matched humanely and that was an important criterion for us, beyond the reputation of the agency.
The choice of a small agency on a human scale suited us more but it is a personal sensitivity because some will feel more comfortable in a larger structure, like CFC.
Important point : Skype with agencies is free, so don't hesitate ! This enlightens a lot because they give a lot of information, even if we don't se not launch immediately.
The list of the main agencies can be found here!
> Next, you have to start looking for a donor.
In our case, we were registered with several agencies that offer donor profiles, but we ended up choosing a donor through our agency, Proud Fertility - and we have never regretted it.
It is possible to find your donor in a different agency than the "surrogate" one, although it makes the process easier to do everything through the same structure - and to put it clearly, an agency will be much more enthusiastic to match you with. a carrier if you have used their services to find your donor.
The list of the main agencies can be found here
> At the same time, you have to start making contact with the clinics.
FYI, there can be weeks of waiting to set up a Skype with a clinic - so don't hesitate to ask for a connection through the agency, which can also avoid paying the fees that some clinics sometimes charge. for the first remote consultation (around between 150 and 300 Canadian dollars). Even if you are not ready to go, it can be a good idea to know the process, quotes and conditions. FYI, we have chosen to work with the Repromed clinic in Toronto.
The list of the main clinics is here
Our advice for choosing the right clinic by clicking here
> You must also choose a lawyer
From the moment you have chosen your egg donor, you must choose a lawyer to establish the contract. You can use the same for the contract with a surrogate mother. We worked with Sean Zaboroski for the contracts and Ellen Embury for the birth process.
> THE NECESSARY TIME
Basically, all its stages are done one after the other, but overlapping ... We therefore move forward little by little, trying to anticipate a little so as not to waste too much time but waiting for one step to be completed before moving on to another.
The key word of this adventure is patience !! And what is sometimes a little complicated is that you have to take the time to think and that the wait can be long depending on the stages, but at other times you have to be very reactive and make a decision within 24 hours. or 48h. In short, you have to be flexible ;-)
In any case, since everything takes time, it doesn't cost a thing to start the process quickly, and then to go at your own pace, but things are started. That's what we did.
OUR TIMING
The whole adventure took us two years but we took our time. Here is the timing in our case, in general terms:
-May / June 2016: first contacts with the agencies (emails, skype, research, etc.)
-Summer: search for our egg donor in three branches. Finally, we found at the end of August via Proud Fertility
-September: Contact with the lawyer to draft the contract with the donor.
-Early November: match with our surrogate mother (this is the 3rd that Proud Fertility offered us, and it was the good because she chose us too)
-November: Contact with the lawyer to draft the contract with the surrogate mother
- End of November: choice of clinic
- Beginning of January 2017: screening of the surrogate mother + screening of the donor.
-April: Egg donation from the donor (initially, it should have been in December but given her personal schedule, she had to go back, and we decided to wait for her, that's why this step came late)
-April-May: fertilization of embryos + PGS (genetic test on embryos)
-June: 1st embryo transfer (failure)
-July: 2nd embryo transfer (successful).
-March 2018: birth of our son